What I’ve learned, and sometimes the hard way

I’ve learned- that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned- that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned- that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned- that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned- that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned- that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.

I’ve learned- that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned- that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned- that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned- that you can keep going long after you can’t.

I’ve learned- that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I’ve learned- that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned- that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I’ve learned- that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned- that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned- that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learned- that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned- that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned- that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned- that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned- that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned- that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I’ve learned- that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

I’ve learned- that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned- that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned- that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned- that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned- that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned- that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned- that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned- that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned- that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I’ve learned- that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.

I’ve learned- that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned- that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned- that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I’ve learned- that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe.

But the most important lesson of all is that no matter how bad I mess things up….no matter how far I stray…now matter how much of a sinner I have become…Jesus died on the cross, I am forgiven, and God always loves me. Now that is a lesson I cannot afford to forget.

Patience…how did you measure up?

Love is patient …—1 Corinthians 13:4

A thousand things try our patience. You buy something that needs assembly, and the instructions are in French. A huge project is due, but your coworker is chatting in the break room. You spend days potty-training your four-year-old with no results. And then your neighbor informs you that her child mastered the job at age 2!

Specifically, love is patient with people. It’s one thing to be patient with computers or fishing rods or an old Buick; it’s another thing to be patient with your bigmouthed nephew or your crabby neighbor. Sometimes we become impatient with patience. We think of patience as the virtue of the elderly, the infirm, or those too weak to have other options.

But Christian love is patient because it is realistic. The Bible states what we already know; there’s something wrong with all of us. Sometimes people call that depravity. As darling as your three-year-old daughter can be, you don’t need a theologian to tell you she’s got an “evil twin” inside her as well. We all suffer from a curvature of the soul. All of us live with people who are imperfect. The world is filled with failures, and we soon discover that people will fail us. All of us fall short of being what we want to be.

We need God’s grace to be patient with others. And we can be patient, because God is patient with us.

Prayer:

Patient Father, thank you for sticking with us, even when we fail you. Give us your strength to love in your patient way. Amen.

Ten Rules For Happier Living

1.  Give something away- no strings attached.
2.  Do a kindness- and forget it.
3.  Spend a few minutes with the aged- their experience is priceless guidance.
4.  Look intently into the face of a baby- and marvel.
5.  Laugh often- it’s life’s lubricant.
6.  Give thanks- a thousand times a day is not enough.
7.  Pray- or you will lose the way.
8.  Plan as though you’ll live forever- because you will.
10.  Live as though you’ll die tomorrow- because you will, on some tomorrow.

My Grandmother…what an amazing woman.

When I was a child, I used to watch my Amazing grandmother wither in pain every day as her entire body was engulfed in the worst case of Rheumatoid Arthritis that I have ever seen. Yet she would always make sure we were all happy, putting others before her own needs. When I was 13,000 miles away stuck on the Island of Okinawa in the Marines, she made sure I got my allotment of her cookies. Now that I’m in my 50′s and my back is aching from arthritis, and I face a battery of tests on Monday to see how far my Lupus and tumors have gone, I realize that she was the strongest and sweetest grandmother I could have ever had. She faced her pain ensuring that others knew about Jesus, and loving them through her physical daily agony. I used to wonder why she would get cranky sometimes (seldom), and now I understand that she had the right to be angry all the time with the daily pain she faced. My Dearest Grandmother, you were a sweetie beyong my imagination. I long for the day when I can tell Jesus, “Look, that’s my Grandmother Dorthy. She made sure I got here to spend eternity with you.” It’s been many years since you passed, but for some reason tonight, as my body aches, my heart is heavier and grateful from missing you. You were amazing. I love ya Grandma, I just thought I’d let you know.

Update

I would like to thank everyone for the OVERWHELMING response to my announcement that I am shutting the site down. Some of you hunted me down at some very strange places…lol.

I have to admit that I only told part of the reasons. The rest of the story is my health. As many of you know I am facing some serious medical issues and sometimes it really hurts to sit at the keyboard and type. In fact as we speak, I am in severe pain. Everyone has been so sweet in the response that after praying on this, I have decided to step back a bit. there might be days where I can do a post or two, but it will depepnd on my pain levels. If you don’t hear from me for a few days, don’t worry, pray.

I want to thank you all again for such an amazing outpouring of support. Please keep me in prayer as I am fighting many battles on many fronts.

Here’s a great article called where do you put yourself in your list of priorities….a must read

If you are a Christian, God obviously comes first. Jesus said, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Matthew 6:33). He is the ultimate priority. Until He is first, everything else will seem out of kilter.

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/sjlocke

But who comes second. You know, after God? This is where it gets tricky.

If you are just getting started with Evernote, I suggest that you buy Brett Kelly’s remarkably practical e-book, Evernote Essentials, Second Edition. It is worth setting aside a couple hours to work through this brief, 95-page book. It will save you DAYS of learning Evernote on your own.

I believe you come next. That’s where I put myself, and I make no apologies for it. That means before my family, friends, and career. Even before my ministry.

I don’t think this is because I am selfish or ego-centric. Then why do I do it?

Because I can’t take care of anyone else unless I take care of myself.

If you travel much, you have no doubt heard the flight attendant say some version of the following:

In the event of a change in cabin pressure, panels above your head will open revealing oxygen masks. Pull the mask down toward you to activate the flow of oxygen. Cover your nose and mouth with the mask. Place the elastic band around your head and continue to breathe normally. Remember to secure your own mask before assisting others.”

This is how I look at life. I have to attend to myself first (second only to God) in order to be spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and physically available to others. If you have trouble with the semantics of putting yourself second, think of it as preparation to serve others.

For example,

• If I don’t feed myself spiritually, I don’t have the spiritual resources necessary to share with others. This is why I read the Bible and pray daily.
• If I don’t look after my own health and become sick, I am not much use to my family or my employees. This is why I run and try to eat nutritionally sound food.
• If I don’t make time for reading great books, I don’t have the intellectual resources I need to share with others.
• If I don’t make the effort to work through my own emotional wounds, I end up reacting to others instead of being in a position to minister to them. This is why I think counseling and therapy can be a valuable exercise for most people.
• If I don’t get sufficient rest, I get grumpy. No one wants to be around me. This is why I try to sleep a solid seven hours every night.

In addition, I want to to model how to take care of myself, so that the people under my influence will take care of themselves.

Some Christians insist on putting themselves at the bottom of their priority list. I think this springs from a false—and dangerous—piety. We are in a much better position to serve others when our basic needs are met.

 

Written by Michael Hyatt

Remembering to have a sense of humor during an illness.

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22)

It’s easy to have a crushed spirit when you live with chronic illness or pain. There is so much that you can’t do. There are so many ways in which you are limited. What Winston Churchill referred to as the “black dog” of depression seems to be ever-lurking around the corner, ready to devour you at any moment. You try to put it off. You try to focus your energy on something else. But it’s so much easier to just give in.

What if you could find humor in the pain?

I read once that someone with chronic fatigue syndrome meets the standard diagnostic criteria for both insomnia and narcolepsy. As I let that sink in, a giggle bubbled up in my throat. How can someone be both prone to staying awake all night and dropping off to sleep without any warning?

In that moment, the ridiculousness of the situation struck me, and I laughed at the pain I experience on a daily basis. It was as if I suddenly realized that I could let this thing defeat me or I could look for ways to keep right on living despite it. It was my choice.

You know what? God wants us to choose life, always. Whether we have to laugh at the silliness, stop and enjoy a sunset, roll our eyes at the pill container every morning, or revel in a nice, hot bath, it’s far better to work to maintain a cheerful heart than it is to keep focused on the hardship.

Let’s face it: the pain and the illness may not be going anywhere this side of Heaven. We don’t know God’s plan. What we do know is that there are thousands of ways in which He blesses us every single day. We just have to keep our eyes open – even if it means turning that “black dog” into a bit of humor that nobody else understands.

My weakness is my strength, and I’m stronger for my weakness.

This week just keeps getting longer and longer for me. My 50th Birthday is coming up, and I’m to broke and busy to even think about it. I’ve been having some very strange burning and pains in my head where the latest tumor is. The Dr. says that it may be in response to the treatment, but I won’t know or sure until I see the surgeon on May 21st, I’m still waiting to see if we are eligible for the home loan modification that will determine if we keep our house or not. I have so many other things that are hanging over my head that just seems to make each day longer and longer until I  just can’t seem to have any rest. Then I remember…..

Psalm. 27:14 Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.

The hardest part about admitting things like this is that people will start instant “counseling” to you and let you know that these thoughts are a lack of faith and from Satan. Well to them I say, “you’re absolutely right, and we all have them.” In fact, I’m happy I have them because it reminds me of my weakness, and my total dependency on God to get me through these trials. It reminds me that at times there are only one set of footprints in the sand. It reminds me that I have friend s and family that love and care for me. It reminds me that I have my wife, whom I love so much, so things will always be good. My weakness makes me stronger through constant reminding that I can do (and bear) all things who strengthens me through Christ (Philippians 4:13) In short, my weakness is my strength.

I pray for all of you going through trials tonight. but most of all, I pray that you are able to stand up in the face of adversity and shout to the world that you are a WEAK child of GOD made STRONG in the presence of the HOLY SPIRIT. I pray that your tough times are tempered in the knowledge and comfort of knowing that Jesus has you in His arms. In short, I pray for your strength.

 

 

If you were….(Fill in the blank)

If you were busy being kind,
Before you knew it you would find
You’d soon forget to think `twas true
That someone was unkind to you.

If you were busy being glad
And cheering people who seem sad,
Although your heart might ache a bit,
You’d soon forget to notice it.

If you were busy being good,
And doing just the best you could,
You’d not have time to blame some man
Who’s doing just the best he can.

If you were busy being true
To what you know you ought to do,
You’d be so busy you’d forget
The blunders of the folks you’ve met.

If you were busy being right,
You’d find yourself too busy quite
To criticize your brother long,
Because he’s busy being wrong.