Because I woke up this morning…My journey with cancer

Posted: January 17, 2014 in Thoughts on God

forwardMy life changed this week. As I was preparing to resume my treatment for kidney cancer, my Doctor called me on Tuesday and told me that my cancer was in remission, and my liver was recovering from the damage the treatment had done to it. Someone asked me how it felt, and the best way to describe it is like having a huge amount of weight lifted off my shoulders that had been there for 7 months. Initially there is a huge amount of relief, but then things get shaky and blurry from the strain that has been on your muscles for so long. Then it happens….a few days after the shock wears off (and yes, the good news is shock), you start seeing things through an entirely different set of eyes.

I have to admit that while you go through a life-threatening illness, it’s hard to stay focused on anything for too long. People will try their best to console you, yet nothing seems to do the job because most people don’t really know what to say, so they just wing it. Their intentions are good, but when you’re wondering what is going on inside of your cells, a simple, “Have Faith,” is actually sort of insulting. I say this because nobody that hasn’t been through cancer understands what it’ like to wake up in the morning and wonder if it’s worse or better. What we need to hear is, “What do you need?” or “How can I help?” If you want to comfort someone who is battling cancer, just be there for them. Let them vent, and pray for them. I do not write this because I want attention, I do it because so many people want to help, but just don’t know how. There’s no perfect way, they just need someone to lean on because most of their strength is spent on knowing that God will heal them. They are stronger than most people will ever know, they need your love, and that is all.

The last thing I want to bring up is the emotional high a few days after you find out you’re going to be OK. There are certainly thoughts that pop up like, will it come back? But then you laugh and say, “At least I know I can beat it again.” You look at the simple things in life and learn to laugh. I know it all sounds corny, but it’s the truth. My boss asked me today why I was suddenly so changed. I said, “Because I woke up this morning.” But I urge you to take this attitude every day of your life whether you’re sick, or in perfectly good health. Don’t worry about the small stuff that you’ll forget tomorrow, live for the moment, and give Jesus credit and glory for everything, no matter how bad it may seem. Our lives here are short in comparison to the eternal heaven that we have in store, so make it count.

Thanks so much for letting me vent, and love the Lord with all of your heart and the rest will follow…:)

Matthew 11:28, Come to me all who are heavy laden. and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest in your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

  1. Such wonderful news, may the Lord continue to bless you with healing and strength.

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