Posts Tagged ‘Garden of Eden’

edenIn the beginning, there was a Garden. The Garden of Eden. Although it’s long gone, we have the chance to enhance our life through a modern day Garden of Eden. Look at the example below.

 

PLANT 3 ROWS OF SQUASH:
SQUASH GOSSIP
SQUASH CRITICISM
SQUASH INDIFFERENCE.

 

PLANT 7 ROWS OF PEAS:
PRAYER
PROMPTNESS
PERSEVERANCE
POLITENESS
PREPAREDNESS
PURITY
PATIENCE

 

PLANT 7 HEADS OF LETTUCE:
LET BE UNSELFISH AND LOYAL.
LET US SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES.
LET US NOT BE WEARY IN WELL-DOING.
LET US BE OBEDIENT IN ALL THINGS.
LET US BE TRUTHFUL.
LET US LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

 

AND FINALLY NO GARDEN IS COMPLETE WITHOUT TURNIPS:
TURN UP FOR CHURCH.
TURN UP FOR MEETINGS, IN PRAYER, AND BIBLE STUDY.
TURN UP WITH SMILE, EVEN WHEN THINGS ARE DIFFICULT.
TURN UP WITH DETERMINATION TO DO YOUR BEST IN GOD’S SERVICE.

AFTER PLANTING, MAY YOU GROW IN GRACE AND IN KNOWLEDGE OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST (2 PETER 3:18). AND MAY YOU REAP RICH RESULTS. AMEN!!

laughSometimes it’s good to laugh at ourselves…Here’s a lillte fun for the night.

Question: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Answer: Noah — he was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Question: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
Answer: Pharaoh’s daughter — she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little profit (oops, that should read “prophet”).
Question: What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
Answer: Ruth-less.
Question: Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?
Answer: Nebuchadnezzar — he was on grass for seven years.
Question: What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
Answer: Yahweh drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.
Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord.
2 Corinthians 4:8 describes a group traveling in a Volkswagen Bug: “We are hard pressed on every side.”
Question: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Answer: Samson — he brought the house down (Judges 16:30).
Question: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
Answer: In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Question: How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:23-24)?
Answer: They were really put out.
Question: What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?
Answer: They really raised Cain.
Question: What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
Answer: “Your mother ate us out of house and home” (Genesis 3:6).
Question: The ark was built in 3 stories. The top one had a window to let in light. How did the bottom two stories get light?
Answer: They used floodlights.
Question: Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible?
Answer: David — he rocked Goliath to sleep.
Question: Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
Answer: The thought had never entered his head before.
Question: If Goliath would come back to life today, would you like to tell him the joke about David and Goliath?
Answer: No, he already fell for it once.
Question: What is the best way to get to Paradise?
Answer: Turn right and go straight.
Question: Which of Yahweh’s servants was the Bible’s most flagrant lawbreaker?
Answer: Moses, because he broke all 10 commandments at once.
Question: Which area of the Promised Land was especially wealthy?
Answer: The area around the Jordan where the banks kept overflowing.
Question: How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor?
Answer: Because Job 16:12 says: “All was well with me, but . . . he seized me by the neck”
Question: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
Answer: When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.
Question: Which Bible character had no parents?
Answer: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
Question: Why didn’t Noah go fishing?
Answer: He only had two worms.
to top of pageQuestion: How do we know that they played cards in the ark?
Answer: Because Noah sat on the deck

There once was a man named George Thomas, a pastor in a small New England town.

One Easter Sunday morning he came to the Church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit. Several eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak.

“I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me, swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright. I stopped the lad and asked, “What you got there son?”

“Just some old birds,” came the reply.

“What are you gonna do with them?” I asked.

“Take ’em home and have fun with ’em. I’m gonna tease ’em and pull out their feathers to make ’em fight. I’m gonna have a real good time.”

“But you’ll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do then?”

“Oh, I got some cats. They like birds. I’ll take ’em to them.”

The pastor was silent for a moment. “How much do you want for those birds, son?”

“Huh??!!! Why, you don’t want them birds, mister. They’re just plain old field birds. They don’t sing – they ain’t even pretty!”

“How much?”

The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, “$10?”.

The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He placed it in the boy’s hand. In a flash, the boy was gone.

The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot. Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free.

Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story.

One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting.

“Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn’t resist. Got ’em all!”

“What are you going to do with them?” Jesus asked.

“Oh, I’m gonna have fun! I’m gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other. How to hate and abuse each other. How to drink and smoke and curse. How to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I’m really gonna have fun!”

“And what will you do when you get done with them?”, Jesus asked.

“Oh, I’ll kill ’em.”

“How much do you want for them?”

“Oh, you don’t want those people. They ain’t no good. Why, you’ll take them and they’ll just hate you. They’ll spit on you, curse you and kill you!! You don’t want those people!!”

“How much?”

Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, “All your tears, and all your blood.”

Jesus paid the price.

The pastor picked up the cage he opened the door and he walked from the pulpit.

THANK YOU JESUS. Not all of us hate you. Your loving children