Negativity, why it’s not for Christians. Here’s a gut punch for you.

It’s easy to complain. We’ve all been around people who easily find things to complain about, and from time to time, I’m right in there with them. It’s not that we really have it so rough, but rather that we don’t always have it our way.

I once heard a Pastor friend deliver a message on complaining that really served as a gut punch.

He gave the illustration of the people of Israel heading toward the Promised Land. God tells them they will persevere, but when they hear that people in the one city that remains between them and their land are the size of giants, the people easily forget God’s promise:

Numbers 14:2-4: Then all the congregation lifted up their voices and cried, and the people wept that night. All the sons of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron; and the whole congregation said to them, “Would that we had died in the land of Egypt! Or would that we had died in this wilderness! Why is the Lord bringing us into this land, to fall by the sword? Our wives and our little ones will become plunder; would it not be better for us to return to Egypt?” So they said to one another, “Let us appoint a leader and return to Egypt.”

Despite God’s plan, they allowed their complaining to lead them to appoint a new leader to go back against God.

My pastor friend pointed out that complaining will become your leader if you allow it to, and it’s not that difficult to have that happen.

How does God feel about it? His reaction was clear:

Numbers 14:26-29 The Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying, “How long shall I bear with this evil congregation who are grumbling against Me? I have heard the complaints of the sons of Israel, which they are making against Me. Say to them, ‘As I live,’ says the Lord, ‘just as you have spoken in My hearing, so I will surely do to you; your corpses will fall in this wilderness, even all your numbered men, according to your complete number from twenty years old and upward, who have grumbled against Me.

God didn’t take it well. What’s interesting to me here is that the people weren’t so much complaining intentionally against God Himself but against their situation. That feels to most of us like a complaint that is in no way aimed at God. But all that complaining against everything is, in God’s eyes, a complaint against Him.

5 Negative Effects of Complaining

1. It stops forward momentum.
2. It fosters dissatisfaction in others.
3. It out-volumes and squelches appreciation.
4. It becomes a way of thinking.
5. It becomes your vision and your leadership.

I just heard another pastor speak of the concept of “troubleshooting.” As Christians, we are called to be the problem solvers, not the problem proclaimers. If our God is our strength and our hope, what, exactly, should we have to complain about? We’re supposed to be the troubleshooters. We’re supposed to be the encouragers, the motivators, the accomplishers.

Sure, there may be situations that suck. But there comes a point at which we have to stop and ask ourselves this important question if we’re going to call ourselves Christian: is the situation bigger than God?

Told you it was a gut-punch.

I’ve seen first-hand in the world how much damage complaining can do. Unfortunately, we live in an age of complaining. It’s easier to whine than it is to solve problems. And I even see that when we try to take steps to solve problems, people would rather complain about that. It even happens when specific things complained about are fixed or improved.

Sometimes, I want to go up to these people and just shake them: What do you want?

And sometimes, I realize I’m one of the ones who needs to be shaken, too.

Fulfil Your Potential!

In life, many people do not reach their full potential. We can become so caught up in the everyday that it is easy to continue in old patterns rather than change. Yet, we all have a God-given desire to live to our full potential. Perhaps you remember this celebrated biography:

‘Solomon Grundy … Born on a Monday …
Christened on Tuesday … Married on Wednesday …
Took ill on Thursday … Grew worse on Friday …
Died on Saturday … Buried on Sunday …
And that was the end of Solomon Grundy.’

In life there are many people, like Solomon Grundy, who do not reach their full potential. And yet, the potential of every human being is great. Jesus wants us to live highly productive lives. He wants us to produce ‘a crop – a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown’ (Matthew 13:8). The key to that potential lies in our relationship with Jesus – a relationship that can be as close as that of a brother or sister or mother (12:50). We can live lives of real purpose that will make a difference to the world, because of what we receive from him (13:11–12,16).

Our potential is not about being driven by ambition or success; it is about recognising who we are in God. As we seek him and live our lives according to his purposes, we will begin to bear much fruit. The more we begin to fulfil our God-given potential, the more he entrust to us. He wants us to live lives of abundance (13:12).

The potential for Israel was very great (Genesis 35:11). God intended that Israel would not only be blessed, but also be a blessing to other nations. You have the opportunity to live a life of even greater blessing than those you read about in the Old Testament. Jesus says, ‘Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. For I tell you the truth, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it’ (Matthew 13:16–17).

Jesus warns us that although there is great potential in each of us, there are pitfalls ahead. How can you avoid the pitfalls of life and fulfil your potential?

1. Promote humility

Psalm 10:1-11In his book, Finding Happiness: Monastic Steps for a Fulfilling Life, Abbot Christopher Jamison defines pride as ‘self-importance’. He writes: ‘Humility is an honest approach to the reality of our own lives and acknowledges that we are not more important than other people.’

In this psalm, the psalmist goes on a journey from feeling that God is ‘far off … in times of trouble’ (v.1 onwards), to a realisation (as we will read tomorrow) that God certainly does ‘see trouble and grief’, does ‘listen’ to the ‘cry’ of the ‘afflicted’ and does defend ‘the fatherless and oppressed’ (v.14 onwards).

In fact, it is the ‘wicked’ (v.2) who seek to make themselves distant – ‘your laws are rejected by him’ (v.5). They think of themselves as more important than others – especially the poor, whom they ‘draw into their net and crush’ (vv.9–10, AMP). These verses tell us about the pitfall of ‘pride’ (v.4).

When things go well it is tempting to say, ‘Nothing will ever shake me … No one will ever do me harm’ (v.6). We can be tempted to feel that we have no need of God. ‘In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God’ (v.4). It’s easy to become arrogant (v.2) and boastful (v.3). This psalm seeks to warn us against doing so, and reminds us of our need for God.

Lord, keep me from pride, arrogance and self-importance. May I seek you with all my heart, remembering that I need you and that you never forget me.

2. Pursue intimacy

Matthew 12:46-13:17Some dangerous cults have twisted the words of Jesus (12:50) to teach that becoming a Christian means severing all relations with your family. This is not only dangerous, but also unbiblical. The fifth commandment tells us to honour our father and mother. We are told that, ‘Anyone who does not provide for relatives, and especially for immediate family members, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever’ (1 Timothy 5:8).

Yet Jesus shows here that there is something even more important than our relationships with our own family. Our supreme calling is to an intimate relationship with Jesus, doing ‘the will of the Father’ (Matthew 12:50).

Jesus says, ‘Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother’ (v.50). His words speak of intimacy, permanence and acceptance – a relationship at the deepest possible level. We have the potential to acquire this amazing closeness to Jesus.

Father, thank you that you call me into this intimate relationship with Jesus. Help me to do your will and stay close to Jesus each day.

3. Put down roots

The highs of spiritual experiences are very important, but if they are not combined with deep spiritual roots there is the danger of a shallowness that can lead to falling away. We all need to be aware of this pitfall. We can all fall away in our hearts even while we are doing the right things.

Jesus talks about the seed that falls on shallow ground. It springs up quickly but withers because it has no root (13:6). Later on he will explain that the person who has no roots lasts only a short time because they fall away when trouble or persecution come (v.21).   The answer is to develop deep and strong roots in our relationship with God.                           

Lord, help me to put my roots down deep. May the parts of my life that are beneath the surface, that no one sees, be strong and healthy.

4. Protect your heart

It is so easy for people to be distracted by the busyness of life. Many things can fill our lives and push out time for God, church and other ways in which our spiritual roots could be developed. Again, this is a danger for us all.

Jesus warned about thorns that choke the plant (v.7). Later on, he explains that the thorns are ‘the worries of this life’ and the ‘deceitfulness of wealth’ (v.22).

Lord, help me to keep my eyes fixed on you, to abide in you and stay close to you. Help me to guard this relationship and never allow other things, even good things, to crowd in and choke my life.

5. Purify yourselves

Genesis 34:1-35:29In this passage we read a warning of the danger of escalating revenge (see 1 Corinthians 10:11). One terrible crime (the rape of Dinah, Genesis 34:2) led to another that was even greater: The people of God ‘attacked the unsuspecting city, killing every male … They carried off … all their women and children’ (vv.25–29).

The result was a disaster. Jacob says, ‘You have brought trouble on me by making me a stench to … the people living in this land. We are few in number, and if they join forces against me and attack me, I and my household will be destroyed’ (v.30). The actions of Simeon and Levi are roundly condemned for their violence, ferocity and cruelty (see 49:5–7).

Revenge was not just a pitfall for Simeon and Levi; once again it is a temptation for all of us. When we are offended, we want revenge. In the Old Testament, retribution was limited by proportionality – ‘life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth’ and so on (Exodus 21:23–24). Jesus sets (and by his death and resurrection makes possible) an even higher standard in our relationships today. We are to forgive and love our enemies.

Joyce Meyer, who often speaks of the abuse that she suffered as a child, writes, ‘Have you, like Dinah, ever been an innocent victim? I can assure you that even in the worst circumstances, God gives us grace to forgive so that we can go on with our lives.’

Jacob said to his household, ‘Get rid of the foreign gods you have with you, and purify yourselves’ (Genesis 35:2). God appeared to Jacob (renamed Israel, v.10) and said, ‘I am God Almighty; be fruitful and increase in number. A nation and a community of nations will come from you’ (v.11).

The potential is great. Rick Warren has said, ‘In ministry, private purity is the source of public power’. This is true for all of us, whether we are operating in the family, the workplace, the community or the church. If we want to have a powerful impact for Christ in the world, we need to be people of purity.

Lord, thank you that the potential for Jacob and for the nation of Israel was so great. Thank you that the potential for all our lives is vast. Thank you that you want us to live highly productive lives of real purpose that make a difference to the world. Help us to avoid all the pitfalls and to fulfil our potential. May we be those who produce a crop thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown.

News story of the day….Peace talks break down in Israel. What do you think?

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – Israeli and Palestinian leaders were unwilling to make the “gut-wrenching” compromises needed for peace, a top U.S. official said on Thursday, faulting both sides for the collapse of talks last month.

Offering his first public account of U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry’s failed, nine-month effort to strike a peace deal by April 29, U.S. special envoy Martin Indyk made clear there was blame on both sides, citing Israeli settlement-building as well as the Palestinians’ signing of 15 international conventions.

However, Indyk suggested talks may resume eventually, citing the start-and-stop example of former U.S. Secretary of State Henry Kissinger’s ultimately successful 1975 effort to disengage Egyptian and Israeli forces in the Sinai.

“What was true then is also possibly true today,” Indyk told a conference hosted by the Washington Institute for Near East Policy think tank. “In the Middle East, it’s never over.”

The central issues to be resolved in the more than six-decade Israeli-Palestinian conflict include borders, security, the fate of Palestinian refugees and the status of Jerusalem.

“One problem that revealed itself in these past nine months is that the parties, although showing some flexibility in the negotiations, do not feel the pressing need to make the gut-wrenching compromises necessary to achieve peace,” Indyk said.

“It is easier for the Palestinians to sign conventions and appeal to international bodies in their supposed pursuit of justice and their rights, a process which by definition requires no compromise,” he said. “It is easier for Israeli politicians to avoid tension in the governing coalition and for the Israeli people to maintain the current, comfortable status quo.”

“The fact is, both the Israelis and Palestinians missed opportunities and took steps that undermined the process,” Indyk said.

On April 24, Israel suspended the talks after Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas’s unexpected unity pact with the rival Islamist Hamas group, a step that appeared to be the final nail in the coffin of the U.S.-sponsored negotiations.

Indyk also described the Palestinian decision to sign the 15 international treaties – in what seemed a gesture of defiance toward Israel, which believes such moves may confer legitimacy on the Palestinians – as “particularly counterproductive.”

He also detailed Israeli moves to build additional homes for Jewish settlers in the occupied West Bank and cited these as among the central factors that undermined the negotiations.

During the past nine months, Indyk said Israel had tendered to build 4,800 housing units in areas that Palestinian maps have acknowledged would go to Israel. However, it also advanced planning for another 8,000 units in other parts of the West Bank where the Palestinians hope to establish a state of their own.

This, he suggested, undercut the talks by helping to convince Abbas that he did not have a serious negotiating partner in Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

The two sides met face-to-face, with the United States sitting in as a largely silent observer, for the first six months after the talks resumed on July 29, Indyk said.

In the next phase of about two months, the United States negotiated first with Israel and then with the Palestinians on “bridging proposals” to try to bring them closer together.

“During that time … Abu Mazen (Abbas) shut down,” Indyk said, saying Israeli settlement activity as well as uncertainty about who might eventually succeed him were factors.

“He came to the conclusion that he didn’t have a reliable partner for the kind of two-state solution that he was looking for and he … shifted to his legacy and the succession,” he said. “He is 79 now. He is weary. He wants to leave office and he is more focused on succession now than on making peace.”

 

Pray or press on

The Lord said to Moses, “Why do you cry to me? Tell the people of Israel to go forward. (Exodus 14:15 ESV)

Moses was leading the people of Israel out of Egypt.  God had just performed mighty works and shown his power on their behalf.  He called Moses to lead these people, the Israelites, but, Pharaoh and his army were pressing down on them, just as God had told Moses they would (Exodus 14:1-4).  At this point, Moses had a choice: move forward or stop and pray.

Often times we face these same choices in life.  We feel as though God has called us to do something for Him and as we begin that journey, we encounter roadblocks just as the Red Sea was for the Israelites. But as witnessed here, when we come against barriers and opposition, we can stop and question what God has called us to do. We often mask this in more prayer rather than following God’s calling in our lives. Who knew the very sea that appeared to be their death sentence would actually be God’s instrument of victory? Our scope and perception is limited. Fortunately, we are called, guided, and equipped by a God without limitations. Remember that His ways are not our ways and that this is a good thing (Isaiah 55:8-9)!

Is God calling you to stop asking and start moving forward?

Are your problems bigger than your belief? Let’s take a look at David and Goliath to readjust our attitude

Have you ever looked at a situation and had it overshadow your faith in God‘s ability to overcome it? Don’t worry, it’s happened to all of us at one time in our lives. So to help you to regain your faith in God, and to give you the strength to fight the battles in your life, I’ve summarized the story of David and Goliath below. To read the story in it’s entirety, go to 1st Samuel. At the end of this saga, I want you to consider a few questions to help you through your struggles. Use what David went through as an example of how to tackle the difficult times in your life. The obstacles in your life are nothing but Goliaths, and you are the David. Pray on them, gird up, and put that rock right between the eyes of your situation. Having said that, here we go my friends……

The Philistine army had gathered for war against Israel. The two armies faced each other, camped for battle on opposite sides of a steep valley. A Philistine giant measuring over nine feet tall and wearing full armor came out each day for forty days, mocking and challenging the Israelites to fight. His name was Goliath. Saul, the King of Israel, and the whole army were terrified of Goliath.

One day David, the youngest son of Jesse, was sent to the battle lines by his father to bring back news of his brothers. David was probably just a young teenager at the time. While there, David heard Goliath shouting his daily defiance and he saw the great fear stirred within the men of Israel. David responded, “Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of God?”

So David volunteered to fight Goliath. It took some persuasion, but King Saul finally agreed to let David fight against the giant. Dressed in his simple tunic, carrying his shepherd’s staff, slingshot and a pouch full of stones, David approached Goliath. The giant cursed at him, hurling threats and insults.

David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied … today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air … and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel … it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”

As Goliath moved in for the kill, David reached into his bag and slung one of his stones at Goliath’s head. Finding a hole in the armor, the stone sank into the giant’s forehead and he fell face down on the ground. David then took Goliath’s sword, killed him and then cut off his head. When the Philistines saw that their hero was dead, they turned and ran. So the Israelites pursued, chasing and killing them and plundering their camp.

Points of Interest from the David and Goliath Story:

• Why did they wait forty days to begin the battle? Probably for several reasons. Everyone was afraid of Goliath. He seemed invincible. Not even King Saul, the tallest man in Israel, had stepped out to fight. Also, the sides of the valley were very steep. Whoever made the first move would have a strong disadvantage and probably suffer great loss. Both sides were waiting for the other to attack first.

• David chose not to wear the King’s armor because it felt cumbersome and unfamiliar. David was comfortable with his simple slingshot, a weapon he was skilled at using. God will use the unique skills he’s already placed in your hands, so don’t worry about “wearing the King’s armor.” Just be yourself and use the familiar gifts and talents God has given you. He will work miracles through you.

• David’s faith in God caused him to look at the giant from a different perspective. Goliath was merely a mortal man defying an all-powerful God. David looked at the battle from God’s point of view. If we look at giant problems and impossible situations from God’s perspective, we realize that God will fight for us and with us. When we put things in proper perspective, we see more clearly and we can fight more effectively.

• When the giant criticized, insulted and threatened, David didn’t stop or even waver. Everyone else cowered in fear, but David ran to the battle. He knew that action needed to be taken. David did the right thing in spite of discouraging insults and fearful threats. Only God’s opinion mattered to David.

Questions for Reflection:

Are you facing a giant problem or impossible situation? Stop for a minute and refocus. Can you see the situation more clearly from God’s vantage point?

Do you need to take courageous action in the face of insults and fearful circumstances? Do you trust that God will fight for you and with you? Remember, God’s opinion is the only one that matters.

How to break up with bad company

“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’”-1 Corinthians 15:33

It is impossible to live a life that is unaffected by other people. Their attitudes and opinions, like pollen, blow into our lives, shaping our perspective and influencing our decisions. When one godly person’s life sharpens another’s, it’s a good thing. It yields a harvest of mature fruit over time.

But I can think of several instances in my life when I allowed the negative influence of others to sway my better judgment. It started when I was young.

In grammar school: “Come on, we can sneak into the classroom without the teacher ever knowing.” He knew.

In high school: “Don’t be such a drag. The toga party will be a blast!” With so much alcohol available, my friends couldn’t remember what kind of party it was.

In college: “Let’s get pizza. It won’t hurt to skip class today.” Unless, of course, the professor covered topics that weren’t in the book. He did.

As a young married woman: “Don’t you think your husband is too tight with money?” He wasn’t. But I didn’t have enough discernment yet to realize how this older woman’s suggestion undermined my marriage.

Like many things in life, the moments in which we’ve been swayed by bad influences are often easier to see with hindsight. I’d like to think that as a “big girl” now, my judgment and perspective would keep me from being led astray. Unfortunately, I still have blind spots. I’m still vulnerable to being influenced toward ungodly attitudes and actions. The process can be so subtle that I don’t even notice.

Recently at the gym, for instance, another woman who was working out joked with me about people who overeat and remain obese. It felt gratifying to be counted among the “in crowd.” When I got home, however, God’s Spirit convicted me: her “compliment” was really a self-righteous jab at others who struggled—a jab I had agreed with. Our conversation had made me feel good at others’ expense. Even if I usually exercised self-control in the kitchen, my critical tongue could stand to lose a few pounds.

Moments of conviction such as the one I had that day have spurred me to think about how other people’s negative influence works in our lives. The Apostle Paul succinctly described this dynamic in our relationships: “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character’” (1 Cor. 15:33). Given this reality, how do we recognize and respond to the people in our lives who may indeed be “bad company”?

Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing

Perhaps the first step is to identify the people whom Scripture warns us to beware of. Proverbs, especially, describes a number of foolish behaviors we would do well to avoid when we see them in others: gossip and division (16:28), anger and violence (16:29), lying (12:22), greed (15:27), and lack of compassion (29:7).

Paul instructed us to avoid another form of influence:

But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

—1 Cor. 5:11

Paul understood that when people who called themselves Christians surrendered to sinful lifestyles, it dulled their ability to discern right and wrong (1 Tim. 4:1-2). They, in turn, drew others into their folly. For Paul, some of the biggest potential enemies to spiritual growth were not those outside the church who were engaged in blatant sin, but those inside it.

At times I’ve been tempted to believe I could easily spot bad company. But recognizing someone’s negative influence hasn’t been automatic for me—just as I realized the day I got home from the gym. Scripture affirms what I’ve experienced: Negative influence isn’t always obvious. Again and again, we’re warned to be on the lookout for wolves in sheep’s clothing, outwardly “spiritual” people who lead God’s children astray (2 Thess. 2:3, 2 Pet. 3:17, 1 Jn. 4:1).

How do we learn to discern? In addition to keeping an eye open for the characters described above, it’s critical to understand how the corrupting power of bad company works and why we sometimes give in to its influence.

In the Company of Sin

In Hebrews we read, “Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles” (Heb. 12:1). It is the nature of sin to entangle, to trip us up, to drag us down. When we’re around those whose lives are enmeshed in sin, we are exposed to its entangling influence in at least three ways: through the appeal of rebellion, through the desire for man’s approval, and through the inherent pleasure of sin.

The appeal of rebellion. If you have raised a child, then you already know rebellion lies at the heart of man. “No” is one of the first words out of most children’s little mouths. Growing up doesn’t change that tendency. We don’t like anyone telling us what to do—not even God. Submitting our lives to His leadership is hard for us, and it was hard for some of the characters in the Scriptures.

Moses’ cousin Korah influenced 250 Israelite men to reject the authority God had given to Moses and Aaron. Korah didn’t have to work too hard to rally support; he merely stoked the rebellious fire of the men who disagreed with God’s methods for setting up the priesthood. These men joined Korah’s rebellion and suffered the consequences of God’s judgment for doing so (Num. 16:1-35). Korah’s wicked influence proved to be their doom.

The sinful nature of our hearts predisposes us all to rebellion. Like Eve in the garden, we are easily enticed to disobey God through the snakelike influence of bad company.

The desire for man’s approval. Accolade. Kudos. Respect. We all crave the endorsements we believe will validate our worthiness as a person. But when our desire to please the crowd overshadows our reverence for God, we’ve allowed man’s influence in our lives to supercede His. Sometimes the cost of doing so is far greater than we ever imagined. For Saul, the first king of Israel, the price of man’s approval was ultimately his monarchy.

Saul and his army were stationed at Gilgal waiting for Samuel, the priest, to arrive before the great battle. It was Samuel’s responsibility—his alone—to offer the burnt offering to God. But the prophet was tardy, and Saul grew nervous as his jittery army started to scatter. Their impatience influenced Saul to do what was forbidden: offer the sacrifice himself (1 Sam. 13:1-14).

When Samuel arrived, he pronounced words of judgment upon Saul that foretold his fall and the loss of his kingship: “You have acted foolishly…. Your kingdom will not endure” (vv. 13-14). The influence of Saul’s men compelled him to submit to their fear instead of God’s sovereignty. Saul cared more about his army’s approval that day than He did God’s explicit commands.

Likewise, when someone influences us to make a choice we know is wrong, we have, in effect, decided that person’s approval is more important to us than God’s.

The pleasure of sin. Let’s face it: Sin is pleasurable, at least in the beginning. Whether it’s the excessive use of something that we could be thankful for in moderation or the tantalizing allure of illicit pursuits, sin promises to satisfy our deepest longings. Eventually, however, everyone who indulges in sin will pay the price.

Take chocolate for example.

If I were to eat as much chocolate as I wanted (which is a lot), whenever I wanted (which is often), I would be enjoying the sinful pleasure of gluttony. Eating chocolate is not sin in and of itself; my overconsumption of it is. In my case, sin finds me out when I step on the scale.

Usually, sin’s siren song is most tempting when I’m struggling to cope with life. During such times, I must be aware of those who would have me believe the pleasures of sin aren’t worth worrying about. If I comment to a friend that I need to restrain my appetite in this area, and she responds, “Oh come on, it’s not that big a deal,” I need to pay attention to her negative influence upon me.

Going Down?

Sometimes negative influence is obvious because it encourages us to indulge a known weakness. At other times, however, corrupting influence is more subtle. It may not lead to blatantly sinful decisions. Instead, we may have little more than a troubling sense that something isn’t quite right in this relationship.

How can we tell when we’re being influenced negatively? Here are some telltale signs:

• if we feel consistently heavyhearted, agitated, or depressed after spending time with someone
• if we’re violating areas of conviction
• if we’re making questionable decisions that were never options before
• if we’re more lax regarding areas of weakness
• if we’re rationalizing behavior or thoughts that we previously avoided

These neon signs alert us to the possibility that someone’s effect on our lives is pulling us the wrong way.

Influence, Limited

Once we’ve identified someone as a negative influence, the next step is to decide what to do about it. Broadly speaking, I think there are two important parts to our response. First, we need to decide how much to limit our exposure to the person in question. Second, we should seek the protective influence of healthy relationships with other believers and place ourselves under the influence of God’s Word and His Spirit.

Limiting exposure. The first step in dealing with a negative influence is to reduce the amount of exposure we have to that person. I don’t think there’s a set formula for discerning where to establish protective boundaries. Just because someone influences us negatively in one area doesn’t mean she can’t make a positive contribution in another. Because of that, I’ve found it best to ask God how He wants me respond. He has promised that He’ll give me wisdom when I ask for it (Jas. 1:5).

I’ve also learned that limiting a negative influence usually involves one or more of the following steps:

• Setting parameters. We might not have a problem spending time with this person in the office, but we may need to forgo having a drink together after work.
• Distancing yourself. We may need some space for a time in order to decide how to handle the situation.
• Fleeing. Sometimes drastic measures are necessary, and we must flee unrighteousness (1 Cor. 6:18, 10:14; 2 Tim. 2:22). When our soul is in immediate peril because we’re tempted to sin by someone’s bad influence, we simply need to get out—just as Joseph did when he fled the advances of Potiphar’s wife (Gen. 39:1-12).

Another decision we’ll have to make is whether or not to communicate with this person about our reasons for limiting contact or ending the relationship.

I once had a coworker whose outlook on life was consistently negative. Because I, too, had struggled with pessimism, I knew that spending time with her could drag me down. At first, I chose to avoid her. Eventually, I decided I could spend time with her if others were present to offset her negativity. Relating to her in a group protected me from being overly swayed by her gloom.

In retrospect, I wonder if telling her about my struggle with her pessimism might have been a better solution. Sometimes talking openly with someone about her influence can open the door to a deeper relationship. It might also encourage her to take inventory of her own vulnerabilities.

However, there are also times when it’s best to act without explanation. For example, if we have concerns about a person’s trustworthiness, it’s probably better to limit our vulnerability.

Submitting to positive influences. In addition to limiting negative input, we also need to submit our lives to the positive influences that will protect us.

• Submission to other believers. Who are the good influencers in our lives? Jesus prayed for His disciples to be one just as He and the Father are one (Jn. 17:20-23). He knew that the temptation to follow the crowd would be great; I believe that’s one reason He emphasized unity with other believers. Being in relationship with like-minded friends shields us from the corrupting power of bad company.
• Confession. One way we can express our submission to other believers is to confess our sin (Jas. 5:16). If we’ve repeatedly been drawn into another person’s entangling influence, we may need help to break free.

Confession is an important first step; it frees us from false guilt and gives us an opportunity to recommit to pursuing a holy life. Confession also paves the way for others to protect us where we’re vulnerable through their ongoing encouragement and support.

• Submission to God through His Word and prayer. Joshua 1:8 commands us, “Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.”

When I focus on God’s truth, it transforms my thinking (Ro. 12:2). The Word inoculates my mind against the lies and deception of sin, and I am less likely to make choices that fly in the face of God’s commands.

As we encounter Scriptures that address our temptations and struggles, our response is to submit ourselves to God in prayer. Through prayer, we allow our hearts, minds, and wills to be influenced by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Bad company does indeed corrupt good character. But if we remain vigilant, if we’re honest about our own weaknesses, and if we seek out the protective, positive resources God has graciously given us, we do not have to be drawn into the destructive power of sin.

By God’s grace, we’ll grow in exercising the kind of Christlike influence He wants us to embody in our relationships.

Are you taking the time you should with God? Be honest…

We all live busy, hectic, modern lives. When we work, we work a lot. When we play, we go all out. When we are home, we have kids to take care of or school events to attend. When it comes to church, we could be at a service or small group every other day if we really wanted. It can be hard to put time aside from our eventful days to rest and be quiet before God as today’s Scripture instructs.

Being quiet before God gets even harder when a monkey wrench is thrown into our busy lives. This could be a death in the family, a rebellious child, the loss of a job, or anything at all that is unexpected. When any of these happen to us, our first response is often to set things back to “normal mode”. Who wouldn’t want to do this? We look for the plans of action necessary to set things in order and ask God to bless us along the way. We fall into the trap that action is the only solvent for the unexpected problems in life. When many times, we simply need to live as the Psalmist and “be still and know that [He is] God” Psalm 46:10. Our comfort won’t come from solving the issues alone, but knowing God and his ways during our busy life.

Begin taking 5 minutes out of your workday to be in a quiet place and rest in God. As we begin to make this a habit, we will understand its importance and remember to make more time during our busy lives for God.

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel,
“In returning and rest you shall be saved;
in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.”
But you were unwilling, (Isaiah 30:15 ESV)

Why are there times when God seems quiet in my life?

In answering this question, one is reminded of Elijah and his flight from Jezebel. Elijah was a man of God whom God used to do some mighty things. However, when word reached him that Jezebel had threatened his life, he ran (1 Kings chapter 19). Elijah prayed to the LORD and in effect complained about how he was being treated: “And he said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away” (1 Kings 19:10). The LORD’S answer to Elijah is thrilling: “And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD. And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice” (1 Kings 19:11-12).

We see in this passage of Scripture that what Elijah thought was not true. Elijah thought God was silent and that he was the only one left. God was not only “not silent,” but He had an army waiting in the wings so that Elijah was not alone: “Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him” (1 Kings 19:18).

In our walk as born-again believers, it may seem that God is silent, but God is never silent. What looks like silence and inactivity to us is God allowing us the opportunity to listen to “the still small voice” and to see the provisions that He has made for us by faith. God is involved in every area of a believer’s life–the very hairs on our heads are numbered (Mark 10:30; Luke 12:7). However, there are times when we have to walk in obedience to the light that God has given us before He sheds more light on our path, because in this age of grace God speaks to us through His Word.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it” (Isaiah 55:8-11).

Therefore, when God seems silent to us as born-again believers, it may mean that we have stopped listening to His voice, we have allowed the cares of this world to plug our spiritual ears, or we have neglected His Word. God does not speak to us today in signs, wonders, fire or wind, His Spirit speaks to us through the Word, and in that Word we have the “words of life.”

What does the Bible say about complaining and being negative?

The Greek word translated “complainer” means literally “one who is discontented with his lot in life.” It is akin to the word grumbler. Complaining is certainly not a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) and, in fact, is detrimental to the peace, joy, and patience that come from the Spirit. For the Christian, complaining is destructive and debilitating personally and only serves to make our witness to the world more difficult. Who, for instance, would be attracted to a religion whose adherents are dissatisfied with life and who continually grumble and complain?

The first complainer was Adam who, after he and Eve disobeyed, complained to God that “the woman you put here with me – she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it” (Genesis 3:12). The son of Adam, called Cain, also complained, although undoubtedly within himself (Genesis 4:6). We also know of the complaints made by Moses, when he met God at the burning bush (Exodus 3–4). Also, Moses cried to the Lord repeatedly for deliverance from the Israelites’ grumbling and idolatry (Exodus 17:4; 32:31-32). We also know of the complaints that David offered up to the Lord in the Psalms (Psalm 2:1; 12:1-2; 22:1) and the complaints made by the prophets concerning the idolatry of the Jewish nation. However, the book of Job offers the most in the way of complaints toward God, and yet Job did not sin (Job 1:22, 2:10). That is not to say that the aforementioned people never sinned in voicing their complaints to God, but Job was a man who was able to sanctify his complaints, and that took humility.

Clearly, as believers we are challenged not to grumble or complain (Philippians 2:14-15; 1 Peter 4:9); rather, we are to love one another deeply so that we may become “blameless and pure” in God’s eyes. If we grumble and complain, it shows how worldly we still are (James 4:1-3). A complaining spirit leads to fighting and quarrelling because complaints come from unfulfilled desires, which lead to envy and strife. Was that not at the root of the problem with the sons of Israel, when they chose to dispose of their brother Joseph, because of his dream (Genesis 37:3)?

Finally, while it is not wrong to complain to God, it is wrong to complain about God. Those that did so met the anger of the Lord, as was the case of Moses’ sister Miriam (Numbers 12) and Korah and Dathan (Numbers 16). But note that they spoke against God’s servant and, in doing so, spoke against God Himself. If we must complain, let it be to Him about our own sinfulness so that He will forgive and cleanse us (1 John 1:9) and put within us a new heart, one that rejoices rather than complains.

The problem with feel good Churches and Theology

I think most of us would agree, that if you had a choice between things that make you feel good, and things that don’t feel so good, our natural choice would be to chase that which makes us feel good. We go see movies or be entertained with the idea that we want to feel something positive at the end of the experience. We also could choose people, sermons and churches, all designed to make us feel good. In our pursuit of fee ling good, we could easily wander into things that may not be the truth or reality that the Lord desires for us. His truth, His reality may not always feel good, but His way for each of us is excellent. We are all called to hear His voice and follow His truth, and not get caught up in the evangelical humanism that wants to strip us from our destiny in Him. 

There is a continued trend through the western church of preaching and teaching messages that appeal to our souls but do little in changing our souls or renewing our minds to His ways. Many times these teachings are contrary to what the Father desires for each of us. There are truths being spoken out of context and there are truths mixed with deception to tickle the ears of man. Because there are scriptures attached to false doctrine, many fall into the trap of false reality. Much of it has its root in a muddled worldview & an uninspired Word-view. Many read the bible through the eyes of self. They gravitate towards sermons that bring focus to self and the pleasures of this world. They glory in God when things go according to their plans, but often whine or rebel when things go according to His plans. 

Quoting & Applying Scripture to our own Desires

1 Chronicles 4:9-10
⁹Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, “I gave birth to him in pain.” ¹⁰Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.

Many have prayed the prayer of Jabez and have expected the same results, not even considering what the Lord may have for His glory in their lives. God granted Jabez His requests because it was according to His plans and His will that Jabez prayed. I do not think Joseph prayed that he would be left for dead by His brothers. I do not think Joseph prayed to be thrown in prison. Yet it was part of God’s divine plan for him. He had dreams of His brothers bowing to Him and certainly did not expect the results he had to endure. The final result was the glory of God being manifest through a servant, who did not live for self, but lived for the glory of God.

Just because God granted Jabez his request, does not mean God is going to grant you your request.

Think of Joseph reading a copy of the Jabez prayer and believing God to keep him from pain, just before His brothers left him for dead and enduring years of pain. God did expand his territory and did bless Him, but it was in God’s design and timing. I am not saying to not ask or pray such things, I am saying, be prepared for His will, and His timing and most of all His glory to come forth.

The territory and resources he has for you now may be all you need to accomplish what He has ordained for you .You can confess, profess, name it, claim it, and get very discouraged that your will did not Change His mind. You can muster up whatever emotional frenzy you want but your will cannot usurp His will for your life. Many people want to be blessed and have their territory expanded, but are not willing to be transformed through death to their own stuff.

Colossians 3:5-6
⁵Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. ⁶Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.

Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

In contrast to the feel good passages of the bible, we do not see many pray, regarding the scriptures above, or pray as Paul did in-

Philippians 3:10
¹⁰I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in h is sufferings, becoming like him in his death,

Praise God that our loving Father denies often our selfish requests, so that we live as disciples for His plan for us

Life in the flesh is not fair, as it is All for the Glory of God.

We are here for His glory and only His glory. When we are done in this life, we are done for His glory. Have you ever thought of Jobs first wife and children? God took them to himself early for His glory. He did not love the wife and children any less than he loved Job. It did not seem fair. I guarantee, his first family is not complaining. Sovereign God allowed His Son to be crucified for His glory. Stephen was martyred as a young man for His glory! We may be called home at 18 or 120 for His Glory. Deal with it!

The western church is taught and tends to gravitate towards Jabez types of prayers and Jabez types of results that really appeal to the core of our flesh nature. They do not want to read, study, or apply the teachings of sacrifice and death to self. Selfless life does not sell in the American church experience. They can quote the feel good scriptures, but do not gravitate to Job or Joseph realities. They certainly desire a season of harvest over any wilderness experience. We do not want to sacrifice our next meal, let alone a career, a house, or a lifestyle for His Kingdom. We need to embrace the wilderness, suffering, and sacrifice as a part of His plan, in changing us into His image.

The Reason and Season is His Choice

Matthew 11:28-30
²⁸Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light.”

We all like the scripture above. I am so glad that that we can rest in Him and that He will carry the burden for us as we follow Him. So hold on to these, but also hold on to the whole counsel of God, the whole Word of God including the following scriptures. He has seasons for each of us. Some are sowing, some are reaping, and some are still looking for the farm.

Matthew 5:23-25
 ”This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.
“Or say you’re out on the street and an old enemy accosts you. Don’t lose a minute. Make the first move; make things right with him.

Mark 11:25-26
²⁵ “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. ²⁶ But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

Now these passages are a lot tougher. The Word says I need to forgive before I can be forgiven. Ouch! Human nature would want to lean towards the burden is light type of scriptures, rather then having to actually forgive somebody. Verse 26 is conditional forgiveness from God and that is a scary thing. We must always examine ourselves with the luminary light of the Holy Spirit. We must willingly and speedily forgive others, in order to apply the full measure of His grace upon our lives. The entire Word of God is true, but which part of it is most often being quoted or applied?

What are you choosing off of God’s Buffet Table

Can you imagine going to a Buffet table with a tremendous variety of foods and yet always selecting what tastes the best without regards to what is the best for you? This will get you out of shape and unhealthy rapidly. The same thing goes with the Word of God. If you only lean towards grace, blessings, comfort messages from the Word of God, you will soon be unhealthy spiritually and unable to allow God to impact your own life, let alone anyone else through you.

Why do we ignore certain truths that we need?  Why do we want the apple pie of the Word, and ignore much of the meat? What we are really saying is that certain truth does not feel good, does not fit my lifestyle, and therefore, I am going to skip that scripture. I am not going to obey that truth, because it is not meant for me at this time. Well excuse me…

He is Lord of the harvest and He is Lord of the wilderness. He is Lord over much, and He is Lord over little. HE IS LORD over ALL. God loves us enough to do whatever it takes to prepare us as ambassadors of His light to the world.

We must not continue to read the bible with ourselves in mind. We must read His word, and hear His counsel towards what He has chosen for us. If we continue to digest and interpret His Word selfishly and listen to flesh pleasing teachers, we will never mature towards Christlikeness in our journey.

If you do not deal with sin in your life, if you do not continue to die to self, you will limit how God can use you. Destines have been shipwrecked because of pleasure seeking lifestyles. Opportunities have been missed because of blindness to the reality of God’s Word and God’s nature.

May the Lord continue His global shift.

 May His leaders, and organizations called by His name, move towards the full counsel of the Holy Spirit. May swift repentance come to those who have proclaimed His name but not applied His life. We have shouted Hallelujah while we did our thing, and Amen while we ignored His thing. Lord, cause us to die to ourselves. Bring it on; bring it upon, anything you choose. Do whatever it takes dear Lord to conform us into your image, and for your glory, in Jesus name.

A believer rejoices in the good times, a disciple rejoices all the time.  And all of the disciples of Christ say….Amen!