Dealing with the people who like to argue.

I have recently been faced with a person in my life who lives to argue. I am certain that this person would have a debate with a wall if nobody was around. The hard part is that they know how to push my buttons in ways that I never knew existed. Have you ever met someone like this? Someone who you honestly believe wants to fight and bicker? It’s a miserable feeling to be around them and can leave you wondering what the heck you should do. So what does the Bible say about it. Here’s a verse that is a good one in some cases:

Genesis 13:8-9 So Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herdsmen and mine, for we are brothers.  Is not the whole land before you?  Let’s part company.  If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.”

I’m not saying that we should split from everyone that antagonizes us, but sometimes it’s better to part on civil and friendly terms than to wait around for another fight to start. Give yourself some room to let emotions cool and anger to recede. It’s probably the best thing you can do. Having said that, let’s look at the scripture below to see what the Bible says…

2 Timothy 2:24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil,

 

2 Timothy 2:23-24 Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord‘s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil,

 

Philippians 2:14 Do all things without grumbling or questioning,

 

Romans 12:19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

 

Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

 

Titus 3:1-2 Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.

 

Romans 14:19 So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

Nevertheless

And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground. (Luke 22:41-44 ESV)

Jesus had spent the evening with the twelve in what men would eventually label “The Last Supper”. He sat at the table of eleven faithful and one devil, serving them all. A discussion eventually broke out among them regarding who “was to be regarded as the greatest” (Luke 22:24). Like all fallen men, the disciples brought talk of the kingdom, thrones, and judgement back to themselves as centerpiece. Undoubtedly they each imagined themselves seated high upon a throne, regaled in fine garments, judging the twelve tribes of Israel from a place of authority. But the scene that would play out late into that dark night would change the course of the Christian man’s thinking forever.

The authority in the kingdom is not man’s, nor was it ever intended to be. In fact, King Jesus lived in a way that undeniably displayed this. While he walked the earth as a man without equal, he remained a servant (Mark 10:45). God’s plan for the world has never been, nor will ever be about the authority of men. Jesus lived this truth out even to the end as he submitted his authority, praying “Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” His earthly life was lived to honor and glorify the Father by submitting to his divine authority rather than promote his own. It is obvious here the anguish and agony of this intimate moment, as Jesus is faced with this looming cup he must drink from; that cup was the wrath of God. “Nevertheless”, he said, and drank deeply from the cup of wrath, becoming for us “sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21).

Is your life lived to exalt the Father’s authority, or promote your own? Answer this question by letting your flesh take a back seat to the Spirit’s leading today.

Dealing with the pain of the heart and soul…Man can it hurt.

A hazard of the boxing ring is the distinct possibility of getting physically hurt. Every boxer, professional or amateur, knows the risk of, for instance, a broken nose, a cut eyebrow, being winded by a body punch or even being knocked out cold, risking long-term brain damage.

A hazard of life generally though is also the distinct possibility of getting hurt in some way. Here, I’m not referring to something like as a black eye, but to the uglier pain of inner hurt, and that crushing feeling of inward offence. To be human is to be sensitive. Being on the receiving end of a deliberate or accidental offence and consequently feeling hurt inside can be a great problem for us all at some time. What do we do at such times? Does the Bible—God’s Word—address this issue? Yes it does. Consider the following:

1. First of all, it is not wrong for us to feel hurt. Mark 3.5 describes an occasion when the Lord Jesus Himself looked around at them with anger, grieved by their hardness of heart. Then in 2 Timothy 4:14 Paul relates how Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm… If both the sinless Son of God and the great Apostle Paul winced with inward hurt then, we will too. We are only human and we are part of a fallen world. So whilst we do not welcome getting hurt, it is unrealistic not to expect it at some time. How though are we meant to react?
2. The Bible teaches non-retaliation. By this it warns us not to add fuel to the fire and make a bad situation worse. Jesus said in Matthew 5:39 But I say to you, Do not resist one who is evil. But if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And Paul wrote in Romans 12:17 and 19: Repay no one evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all… Beloved, never avenge yourselves but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’ Vengeance then is God’s prerogative, not ours. It is natural, of course, to want to retaliate and ‘get even.’ But the Christian Faith is not natural—it is a supernatural Faith. God’s Holy Spirit, living within us, enables us to live and empowers us to live, think, act and not act, in a way and manner altogether differently from the normal.
3. The Bible often reminds us that we have a Father in heaven to Whom we can turn when we get hurt—or in fact at any time. Call upon Me in the day of trouble (Psalm 50:15). Cast your burden on the LORD and He will sustain you (Psalm 55:22).

   In this, we have the positive example of the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. How did He deal with personal offence? 1 Peter 2:23 tells us: When He was reviled, He did not revile in return; when He suffered He did not threaten; but He trusted to Him Who judges justly. In leaving in God’s hand, the personal abuse He received, Jesus has given us, His followers, an example to emulate.

4. In praying to God about those who have wounded us, is it wrong to pray that He will take vengeance upon them? Putting my head on the block, I would suggest that it is not necessarily wrong, not that I can ever recall doing this. Many of the Psalms are what are known as ‘imprecatory’ Psalms. In these, the Psalmist prays that God would avenge his enemies. It is certainly infinitely better to ask God for vengeance on our enemies than to take revenge ourselves, for we can be sure that God will never punish unjustly, or too much or too little, or be handicapped by wounded pride and personal prejudice as we are. Remember too that in God’s dealings with us—including the harsher people and providences He sends our way—Psalm 145:17 holds true: The LORD is just in all His ways, and kind in all His doings. Even our pain then will turn out ultimately for our blessing, for Romans 8:28 says that without exception We know that in everything God works for good with those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.
5. Finally, no matter what internal scars we carry, if we are Christians, we must always remind ourselves and rejoice that our Gospel is a Gospel of the forgiveness of sins. Christ died for our sins (1 Corinthians 15:3). Your sins are forgiven for His sake (1 John 2:12).

   Our sin offends almighty God, but in Christ He had mercy upon us. Every Christian is a recipient of the mercy of God—a full and free forgiveness, gained by Christ’s undergoing the punishment for our sins, in our place, on Calvary‘s cross. Surely, if we know that God, in Christ, has forgiven us all our sins, our attitude towards others will be that much more merciful. Hence Paul exhorted in Ephesians 4:32: Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

So, in this wonderful, but at times painful world, it pays to fix our eyes on Jesus and His redeeming love. The cross of Christ keeps everything that happens to us in its right perspective.