One of my pet peeves has always been someone meddling in other people’s business. One dictionary defines meddling as.…”to interest oneself in what is not one’s concern : interfere without right or propriety.” I think the definition pretty much speaks for itself.
Let’s take a look at the secular definition of meddling now, and later we’ll address the Biblical concept. As you see in the definition above, the major reason that that should keep us from meddling is that it’s just not our business. More Pastor’s have been hurt, marriages have been broken up, more friendships destroyed, more jobs lost, because of meddling over any other reason. Most of the people who are guilty of what I call, “Being a busybody” claim that they are interfering in the business of others because they care. If they really cared they would be on their knees and praying out of concern, not pointing their fingers in judgement. If we see someone doing something that we think is wrong, always remember there’s a difference between meddling and Biblical correction (See Matthew 18:15-17). If we see a friend who is being hurt by another person, then ask of you can help, don’t assume the role of a mediator (Unless asked, then make sure you are guided my Biblical principles and prayer). You may not know both sides, or the entire story.
I have taken the time to list a few of the Biblical approaches to meddling below. I think the first one is the most important and that deals with the fact that we’re all sinners. As I mentioned in the paragraph above, most people who interfere in the lives of others say that they’re doing it to protect someone else from the sin of another. These “Reasons” for interference can be infidelity, money issues, or even as simple as just not liking someone. No matter what the issue may be, we have to allow God to mend relationships, to restore finances, or even to soften our hearts toward another person. Our meddling in a situation because we see a sin involved will not help anyone because we are sinners ourselves. We have all made mistakes, so when we sit in the chair of judgment and meddling, it’s really just being a hypocrite, because we are all sinners, and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) so when we meddle to “Help” a friend or loved one, then we have become a part of the problem rather than a piece of God’s solution.
I hope I haven’t been to abrupt today but as you can see, this is a topic that’s near and dear to my heart. I have been the victim of people in the Church who didn’t like me, or the way I preached, so they played the game of “Church Survivor,” and ran me out of God’s house. I have seen first hand how hard it is when you make a mistake, try to restore the relationship, only to have the repairs you’re making torn down by someone else who meddles and ruins what you have worked so hard to restore. But I’m not alone, there are millions in the same boat in me. We’ve all been hurt at one point of another by someone who put it quite bluntly, is putting their nose where it doesn’t belong.
So in conclusion, I’ll leave you with 1 Corinthians 10:31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Ask yourself when the opportunity to meddle presents itself, “Will my becoming involved in this situation be for the glory of God, or is it a hindrance to Him?” You answer will determine your character.
Romans 5:8 But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Proverbs 26:17 Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears.
1 Thessalonians 4:11 And to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you,
1 Peter 4:15 But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler.
Matthew 7:1-5 “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
Pastor Mike Says 
I have a question about meddling. I am not a meddler and disapprove when others meddle.
Here’s the shortest version of the story; My former husband, from many, many yrs ago, who is a criminal, has recently been convicted/imprisoned for murdering his 2nd wife. The police had enough evidence to convict him without the body. He claims he is innocent, but most doubt it. The day after she went missing he was partying it up with prostitutes, not grieving and helping in the searches for her body. He had abused me horribly during our marriage and is capable of anything.
He is the lead Director at a large Plant (2 hours from his home) where there is an incinerator on-site. The police know his line of work/workplace but don’t know about the on-site incinerator. I believe that is why they can’t find the body. I think he may have had it incinerated, but I have no proof, which makes it speculation. My (2nd) husband says to stay out of it, and that the Lord would not want me meddling. My husband knows I am not a meddler and says this is for the Lord to handle, not me.
But, my intent is to tell the police that it’s a possibility, not a fact, that he may have had the body incinerated, although this is not definite, as I have no proof, just a gut feel. The family is anguishing over the loss of their loved one. The murdered woman is also the mother of two young children who are now orphaned. The family does not know where she is; if she is actually dead or possibly alive. Team searches are frequently being conducted. She has been missing for some time now.
If they go to the incinerator at his workplace they will find nothing, as he would have covered his tracks and the evidence will be gone. But at least if the authorities are made aware of this piece of information (that they currently don’t have) maybe the family can have closure and end the futile searches. I struggle with this everyday.
My heart/prayers go out to the family. It’s not about revenge, it’s about a family having closure.
Should I tell the police my suspicions or stay out of it as my husband has suggested? If they administer a Lie Detector test, asking if he incinerated the body it can’t be used in Court as evidence, but if he fails the LD test there’s their answer and they can stop searching for the body.
Should I keep quiet, as I usually do, or reach out, as the police/family might benefit from my input?
My intentions are to help a grieving family, not to meddle. But if I contact the police is this meddling, especially since I don’t have any proof, just my intuition?
Wow, what a situation to be in. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a difficult scenario. Personally, I would leave it alone and just pray like crazy for peace of mind. I really wouldn’t call this meddling, it’s more of a moral crisis. Since they would not find any evidence in the furnace, I wouldn’t think there would be any closure for the family because they would still be plagued with questions. I am so sorry that you are going through this, I can’t imagine the pain and conflict that you’re experiencing. I will be keeping you in prayers. Once again, I am so sorry that you are facing this. Delve into the Bible, and see what the Holy Spirit leads you to do. Please keep me up to date on this.